Chances are that the recent 2010 Philippine elections could have caused you to ask yourself – what does it mean to be Filipino? Can the Filipino be this stupified? Yes, Watson – that’s the reality, let’s get over it, and start playing the cards we have been dealt with – to the best of our abilities. True enough, there is still a lot of questions about the electoral process, but all those are part of the calculus of Philippine elections – where nobody ever loses, just cheated.
For those Filipinos who are still nursing their wounds after the electoral defeat of their candidates – the thoughts could be – “how can Filipinos be so stupid, I don’t want to be a Filipino”. One the other side of the spectrum, the thoughts could be “huh, our bet won, I am so proud to be Filipino”. How do we reconcile our Filipino-ness given our different positions in the political spectrum?
There’s another way – the vaunted Pinoy humor, call it twisted, sick, callous, tacky, unsophisticated -and totally down-to-earth in a folksy kind of way. Introducing the classic quiz “Are you Really Filipino”. This piece has been making the rounds of the Internet for the longest time, but hey, anything for a good laugh to defuse the explosive powder keg known as Pinoy politics.
For those who have taken the quiz – take it again to see how you have “changed”. For those who haven’t taken the quiz – by all means, TAKE IT. 🙂
Why only now? Well, the AP crew has recently been working to refine who the anti-pinoy is. What traits exemplify the antipinoy? Who are the public personalities that exhibit this behavior? Yup, its in the works, folks.
Having said that, I figured now would be a good time to catch a breather. I pulled this from the PNB New York Lounge After Hours Classics.
Are you Really Filipino?
Are you confused about your ethnic identity?
Want to know just how Filipino you are?
Take this less than scientific quiz to rate your “Filipino-ness.”
- 3 points if you can relate to the following characteristics yourself
- 2 points if it relates to an immendiate family member, i.e. mom or dad or sister/brother
- 1 point if you know someone who has this characteristic
Mannerisms and Personality Traits:
- You point with your lips.
- You eat using hands – and have it down to a technique.
- Your other piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.
- You board the plane as the passenger with the biggest hand-carried luggage.
- You always have at least three other people talking to you at the airport.
- You’re standing next to the eight big boxes at the airport.
- You nod upwards to greet someone.
- You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbow on your knee while eating.
- You use a stone to scrub yourself in the shower.
- You have to kiss your relative on the cheek as soon as you enter the room.
- You collect items from hotels or restaurants “for souvenir.”
- You smile for no reason.
- You flirt by having a foolish grin in your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly.
- You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.
- You use an umbrella for shade on a hot summer day.
- You scratch your head when you don’t know the answer.
- You never eat the last morsel on the table.
- You like bowling.
- You know how to play Pusoy and Mah-jong.
- You find dried up morsels of rice stuck on your shirt.
- You prefer to sit in the shade instead of basking in the sun.
- You add an unwarranted “H” to your name, i.e. “Jhun,” “Bhoy,” “Rhon.”
- You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say
“Excuse, excuse” when you pass between people or in front of the TV.
- Your middle name is your mother’s maiden name.
- You like everything imported or “state-side.”
- You check the labels on clothes to see where it was made before buying.
- You wash your clothes by hand.
- You hang your clothes out to dry.
- You are perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your elbows resting on your knees.
- You consistently arrive 30 minutes late for all events.
- You always offer food to all your visitors.
- You Pronounce F’s like P’s and P’s like F’s.
- You say “comfort room” instead of “bathroom.”
- You say “for take out” instead of “to go.”
- You “open” or “close” the light.
- You ask for “Colgate” instead of “toothpaste.”
- You ask for a “Pentel-pen” or a “ball-pen” instead of just “pen.”
- You refer to the refridgerator as the “pridyider.”
- You say “Kodakan” instead of take a picture.
- You order a McDonalds instead of a “hamburger” (pronounced as Ham-boor-jer)
- You say “Ha?” instead of “What.”
- You say “Hoy” to get some attention.
- You answer when someone yells “Hoy.”
- You turn around when someone says “Pssst!.”
- You say ‘for a while’ instead of ‘please hold’ on the telephone.
- You say “Cutex” instead of “nail-polish.”
- You say “he” when you mean “she” and vice versa.
- You pronounce “hippopotamus” as “hippopoTAmus”, “comfortable” as “comPORtabol”,
“elementary” as “elemenTAry”, “utensil” as “Utensil”, “bus” as “boos”,
“administrative” as “admiNIStrahtib”, “adolescent” as “adoLEScent”
and “seventy-five” as “seBENtipayb”.
- You say “aray” instead of “ouch.”
- Your sneeze sounds like “ahh-ching” instead of “ahh-choo.”
- You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as “OA” for over-acting, or “TNT” for, well, you know.
- You say “air-con” instead of “a/c” or air conditioner.
- You say “brown out” instead of “black out.”
- You say “taken cared of” instead of “taken care of.”
- You use a “walis ting-ting” or “walis tambo” as opposed to a conventional broom.
- You have a “Weapons of Moroland” shield hanging in the living room wall.
- You have a portrait of “The Last Supper” hanging in your dining room.
- You own a Karaoke system.
- You own a piano that no one ever plays.
- You have a “tabo” in the bathroom.
- Your house has too many “burloloys”.
- You have two or three pairs of “tsinelas” on your doorstep
- Your house has an ornate wrought iron gate in front of it.
- You have a rose garden.
- You have a shrine of “Santo Ninyo” in you living room.
- You own a “Barrel Man” (you pull up the barrel and you see something that looks familiar. schwing….)
- You cover your living room furniture with bedsheets.
- Your lamp shades still have plastic covers on them.
- You have plastic runners to cover the carpets in your house.
- You refer to your VCR as “betamax.”
- You have a rice dispenser.
- You own a turbo broiler.
- You own one of those fiber optic flower lamps.
- You own a lamp with the oil that drips down the strings.
- You have a giant wooden fork and spoon hanging somewhere in the dining room.
- You have a wooden “Tinikling Dancers” on the wall.
- You own capiz shells chandeliers, lamps, or placemats.
- You own a Mercedes Benz and call it “chedeng.”
- You own a huge van conversion.
- You car chirps like a bird or plays a tune when it is in reverse.
- Your horn can make 2 or 3 different sounds.
- Your car has curb feelers or curb detectors.
- Your car has too many “burloloys” like the Jeepneys back in P.I.
- You hang a rosary on your car’s rear view mirror.
- You have a green pine air freshener in your car.
- You have aunts and uncles named “Baby,” “Girlie,” or “Boy.”
- You were raised to believe that every Filipino is an aunt, uncle or cousin.
- Your Dad was in the Navy.
- You have a family member or relative that works in the Post Office.
- Your mom or sister or wife is a nurse.
- Your parents call each other “mommy” and “daddy,” or “ma” and “pa.”
- You have a family member that has a nickname that repeats itself, i.e., “Deng-Deng,” “Ling-Ling,” or “Bing-Bing.” etc.
- You put hot dogs in your spaghetti.
- You consider “dilis” the filipino equivalent of french fries.
- You think that eating chocolate rice pudding and dried fish is a great morning meal.
- You order things like tapsilog, tocilog, or longsilog at restaurants.
- You instinctively grab a toothpick after a meal.
- You order “soft drink” instead of “soda.”
- You dip bread in your morning coffee.
- Your tablecloth has soy sauce and fish sauce stains.
- You refer to seasoning and other forms of monosodium glutamate as “Ajinomoto.”
- Your cupboard is full of Spam, Vienna Sausage, Ligo Sardines, and Corned Beef, which you refer to as Karne Norte.
- “Goldilocks” means more to you than just a character in a fairytale.
- You appreciate a fresh pot of rice.
- You bring your “baon” most of the time to work.
- Your “baon” is usually something over rice.
- Your neighbors complain about the smell of tuyo on Sunday mornings.
- You eat rice for breakfast.
- You use your fingers to measure the water when cooking rice.
- You wash and re-use disposable plastic utensils and styrofoam cups.
- You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the refrigerator.
- You have an ice shaver for making halo-halo.
- You eat purple yam flavored (ube) ice cream.
- You have to have a bottle of Jufran or Mafran handy.
- You fry Spam and hot dogs and eat them over rice.
- You think that half-hatched duck eggs are a delicacy.
- You know that “chocolate meat” is not really made with chocolate.
You understand this joke (make sure you read the punchline with a Filipino accent!):
- How many bears were in the car with Goldilocks?
- Four — the momma bear, the poppa bear, the baby bear, and the driver.
Tally your scores and see what category you belong.
- 259-327 points:
- Welcome to America! Judging from your high score, you are an obvious transplant from the Philippines. There’s no doubt what your ethnic identity is! You’re a Filipino, through and through.
- 173-258 points:
- Congratulations, you’ve retained most of the Filipino traits and tendencies your family has instilled upon you.
- 172-51 points:
- You have OFT (Obvious Filipino Tendencies.) Go with the flow to reach full Filipino potential. Prepare for assimilation; resistance is futile!
- 50 and under points:
- You’re white, black, or latino aren’t you?
Let us know what your score is – and share the laughter.