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The Wine Sucked? For Sure? Know your Wine before you Whine

November 4, 2010

Mai Mislang’s lame-ass reaction to the wine really “sucked” – pun intended.

Someone who is so used to drinking beer and liquor will have a different take on wines. After all unlike booze, wine is too tame and lacks the oomph of brandy or rum. The thing is, you don’t go to a diplomatic dinner to get wasted on booze. You attend diplomatic dinner to well – practice the fine art of diplomacy; caveat in this kind of hoity toity environment – PIGs will be spotted easily.

Etiquette and cultural nuances are part of the skill sets needed in the art of statecraft.

Wine, Food, and Social Graces

Fine wine is but a lubricant for polite conversation. In events that require finesse and polish, it helps to know your wine.

There are many types of wines – the groupings however are pretty much dependent on the type of grape used to make the wine. There are red wines (http://www.frenchscout.com/types-of-red-wines) made from red/dark grapes. Shiraz, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, Malbec, Pinot Noir, Zinfandel, Sangiovese, barbera are red grape varieties.

And there’s white wine – from the light colored grapes (http://www.frenchscout.com/types-of-white-wines). Chardonnay, Sauvignon blanc, Semillon, Pinot grigio, Riesling, Gewurztraminer – are white grape varieties

The wine being served is often matched with the entree (http://www.frenchscout.com/matching-wine-with-food) to bring out the interplay of flavors

  • * Shiraz – Food pairings: meat (steak, beef, wild game, stews, etc.)
  • * Merlot – Easy to drink. The softness of Merlot has made it an “introducing” wine for new red-wine drinkers. Food pairings: any will do.
  • * Cabernet Sauvignon – Food pairings: best with simply prepared red meat.
  • * Malbec – Food pairings: all types of meat-based meals.
  • * Pinot noir – Food pairings: excellent with grilled salmon, chicken, and lamb.
  • * Zinfandel – Food pairings: very much depends on the freshness/heaviness of the wine; tomato-sauce pastas, pizza, and grilled and barbecued meats.
  • *Chardonnay – Food pairings: a good choice for fish and chicken dishes.
  • * Savignon blanc – Food pairings: a versatile food wine for seafood, poultry, and salads.

Food and wine lovers provide the following tips on pairing wine and food

The following food damages wine tasting: spice, garlic, vinegar (to be replaced by white wine), raw fruits. (BV: If Mai Mislang had a lot of spice, garlic, and vinegar in her food – as in Datu Puti sukang pinaombong or sukang pinakurat – guess how the wine would taste – right, it would SUCK)

You should also:

Avoid red meat with white wines or sweet wines.

Avoid fish, raw vegetables, and goat cheese, with red wines that dry the palate – but think of trying a cool Gamay or a fruity Pinot. (BV: If Mai Mislang had fish, raw veggies, sushi – with RED wine – the taste would SUCK)

Avoid desserts, Foie Gras, and very strong cheeses (Munster, blue cheese), with Loire Cabernet, pink wine, or crisp white (such as dry Loire, Champagne, or Vinho Verde).

Food-wine pairing explained

Wine rouses pleasure with various food. Almost any dish can be matched with many types of wines. People have different palates and inclinations: everyone will make their own combinations.

For example you can try cheese with a young white (any cheese with Chardonnay, light cheeses with Sauvignon Blanc).

Some rules can guide your matching experiments though:

    • * A simple course leaves room for the wine to shine.
    • * Old wines are delicate to serve and match. The dish should be discreet.
    • * In theory, a slightly sweetened or bitter course accentuates the dryness (acidity, tannins) of a wine. You should thus avoid hard wines with sweet food. On the contrary, the more a dish is salty or acidic, the sweeter the wine will taste. This is an opportunity for you to try wines from fresher climates.

Y'all get the hell outta the way, the Tarlac hillbillies are gonna go rednecking away. Git r done retards.

Why did the wine suck?

So, going back to why Mai Mislang said the wine sucked, here’s probably why:

She had Asian cuisine which most likely included lots of rice, fish, and seafood – and drank wine that was not appropriate for the food that she ate.

Assuming she had a choice between red and white – if she sipped the red after eating fish – the wine’s taste would suck because the flavors of the fish and rice react with the red wine to produce the taste that “sucked”.

It wasn’t the wine – it was the choice of wine and food that left a taste that sucked – on the tongue.

It wasn’t the wine – but it was due to lack of knowledge on how to mix and match food with wine. Fish and red wine don’t mix – capiche?

Epilogue

Little things means a lot – leaving little miss manners at home validates Aquino’s student government as a hillbilly bunch from Tarlac.

To quote Boo Chanco – “But I relate it here as a necessary reminder for the likes of Ms Mislang among the juveniles surrounding P-Noy to behave because for one thing, they aren’t as great as they think. They just happen to work at the Palace.” – and if I may add, that goes for Aquino too.

Better yet, take this advise from the good book – “Don’t put new wine into old bottles” – whatever that means.

From → Lifestyle, Society

20 Comments
  1. blueredicedtea permalink

    man bongV since when you are a wine….tasting expert?
    kidding aside its just shows that she plunges in before she thinks…..
    that goes for other pinoys as well who put emotions first rather than our brains.

  2. OFW-in-Maryland permalink

    She should have stayed with Rum-and-Cola, extra rum.

  3. Heck, these hillbillies are making their province look bad… kawawang Tarlac. 

    Y’all wanna suck tuba instead? :P 

  4. @bluered – LOL. learned red from white – after a nasty hangover – got lazy and grabbed red wine instead of heading for the liquor store and grabbing some Bacardi 151. not to mention that some babes prefer wine over booze – in which case you, you loose if you snooze… 😆

  5. Jay permalink

    Pinoy Hillbillies… just like how Michael Eric Dyson, a professor from the U of Pennsylvania says about nigger phenomena not only limited to the african american communities in America, but worldwide. Just under different slang/names.

  6. After you snooze like that in Vietnam, I wonder if your organs will remain complete…😀

  7. Jay permalink

    also to add to more bad puns, she should try more cheese with her whine.

  8. Francis permalink

    Shame on you Mai Mislang. Fuck You Mislang SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. MKDL Studios permalink

    As an Information Technology student in CEU-Malolos, I recall myself in Social Arts class on the proper etiquette of eating. The midterm laboratory exam was set in a mini-hotel within the school campus, and there was also red wine served with the meals.

    Social Arts = empowering the self. That’s what it says in the curriculum. I wonder if PNoy and his cabal still learn the very topics that was discussed there.

  10. jonphil permalink

    Mislang, carandang – ‘mga batang-buang’ (so I heard). Truly a bunch of trying-hard juveniles not qualified for their post. Whoever put them there reflects one’s motives in his choice.

    A penoy to APPEAR competent needs to have a bunch of BUGOK under him.

  11. well done sa discussion ng political aspect ng wine. Wines are not designed like beer na pwede sa caldereta, kinilaw o (kung nagkagipitan) pansit na pulutan. I just don’t know how they drank Vietnamese wines. Not that I am interested to find out.

    and yeah, they just happen to work at the Palace.🙂

  12. Well, not all men in the Palace practice statecraft. That’s for sure. It makes me wonder, though. Kung mga foreign affairs officers natin is encouraged to assimilate much information on various interests like politics, music, theatre,arts, governance, history, language etc. Bakit parang naiwan yata yung mga public officers by the river.

    Just wondering.

  13. Hyden Toro permalink

    I’ll drink to that…drink for the wounds that never heal…Miss Mislang…you have learned now your lesson; you are young; it does’nt mean, that if you can write well; you are also mature in your thinking. You can be spoiled rotten like Noynoy Aquyino…and you are not aware of it…

  14. I guess Mai Mislang learned her lesson.  Next time, just stick to drinking Nestea bottomless iced tea.

  15. concerned_citizen permalink

    Cheers!

  16. boombox permalink

    Nice article Bong… at least I learned the difference of red and white wine and its proper use.

  17. Lorenz permalink

    What about sake, Japanese rice wine?

  18. Nice article you must be a wine connoisseur

  19. She probably sucked her boss’ limp cock before drinking the wine, sure makes it taste bad

  20. it’s not only bad habits, but a source tells me there is a lot of banging , moaning and groaning going on inside those palace walls. Mislang, ochoa and carandang are just some of those who indulge in bacchanalian behavior. All we need are videos,pictures and brave eyewitnesses who can lift the curtain on this. Barkada sex daw tawag nila.Shameful administration!

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